It has taken me some time to realize that my happiness matters. What I mean is that when I am happy it effects a lot. When I am happy you wouldn't believe what a difference it makes. My house is cleaner, my kids are happier, and so is my husband. I realized that when I do just a little for myself, it impacts my outlook. I try to exercise regularly and this increases my positive self image. I am getting my Ed.D., and this makes me feel accomplished. I spend time with each of my kids in different ways and this makes me feel loved. Mostly, I also, and this is my favorite, make dates with my husband! For instance, my husband and I just went to Walmart without the kids! It was awesome! We browsed the aisle, and just enjoyed eachother
It was only for about 30 min, but it was great to just be with each other. It made me happy and made me more pleasant to be around. You don't realize how your feelings affect your family.
I think this revelation came when my husband said ”I am so proud of how happy you are and how your attitude has changed!” In my head I was like ”Whoa, what have I been like?” So fast forward I was driving my son and I asked him ”Do you see a difference in mom?” Typical teenager goes ”I guess.” So I probed, ”Really, what is different?” He replied ” You seem way, way happier!”
This shook me! I affect my family in my attitude. I guess I always knew it but didn't always consider how my attitude changed their attitudes. So if everyone is happy or unhappy with their current place in your home and life, stop and reflect on your attitude. You could be the difference.
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Friday, May 4, 2018
The lows are not all
I know for me I hit emotional times. I want to be peppy and someone people can look to for encouragement. I love to hang out. I am a social person. However, being a coach’s Wife is tough. No matter how much you click with a person,they almost always have heir own friends. I have been a coach’s Wife for ten years and through that time I have met and become real friends with three ladies that we met at one school.
Reality check not every school has welcoming staff or wives. You don’t know everyone’s experiences and whether they have been burned before. But I can tell you that not every staff will be close, best buddies, hangout and chill type of coaching family.
Honestly, this business takes a lot from a person and doesn’t leave a lot left to give others.
In my coaching lifetime the first school I was at I made friends with moms of players because I was young and the only other wife was much older and didn't really socialize. I had a toddler and a newborn. We were at different stages in life. I made very close friends with my kids baby sitters parents. In fact the kids childhood babysitter is very close to our kids and is like a second daughter to us. (find you one of those!)
The second school we were at I met one coaches wife and never met any other, so I only had work friends(it was a bigger city)
The next one was my TRIBE! WE CLICKED and we were at different stages but somehow Hod new we needed eachother! We still text all the time even though our husbands went their separate ways three years ago. I love them. We even text each other on Friday nights updating each other on our husband's team.
The next school was great. We were at different stages in life, but got along. We didn't hang out, like BFFS but we had a mutual understanding of our environment and being a coaches wives. Great ladies and I wish them all the best at their new places.
Well, 2019 and we are on a new place! After all these years my advice is to be open. Friendships will come, bonds will be made. Sometimes you have to make the first move! Be bold and say hi! You never know who you will click with! Happy Fall Friend Making!
Reality check not every school has welcoming staff or wives. You don’t know everyone’s experiences and whether they have been burned before. But I can tell you that not every staff will be close, best buddies, hangout and chill type of coaching family.
Honestly, this business takes a lot from a person and doesn’t leave a lot left to give others.
In my coaching lifetime the first school I was at I made friends with moms of players because I was young and the only other wife was much older and didn't really socialize. I had a toddler and a newborn. We were at different stages in life. I made very close friends with my kids baby sitters parents. In fact the kids childhood babysitter is very close to our kids and is like a second daughter to us. (find you one of those!)
The second school we were at I met one coaches wife and never met any other, so I only had work friends(it was a bigger city)
The next one was my TRIBE! WE CLICKED and we were at different stages but somehow Hod new we needed eachother! We still text all the time even though our husbands went their separate ways three years ago. I love them. We even text each other on Friday nights updating each other on our husband's team.
The next school was great. We were at different stages in life, but got along. We didn't hang out, like BFFS but we had a mutual understanding of our environment and being a coaches wives. Great ladies and I wish them all the best at their new places.
Well, 2019 and we are on a new place! After all these years my advice is to be open. Friendships will come, bonds will be made. Sometimes you have to make the first move! Be bold and say hi! You never know who you will click with! Happy Fall Friend Making!
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Giving up a lot
After posting on social media #thscwa , I realized I am not alone. I am not the only one who has given up a lot. I have a dream to one day be a college professor, or a reading coach, or curriculum director, something that deals in Admin of education. I realized today with a lump in my throat I am going to have to let go of this idea. Why you may ask?
Well, plain and simple I am a coach’s Wife and it’s different for us.
The wife of a coach knows his love and passion for coaching comes first, and we are ok with that. We love our teams, boys, or girls, towns, and the ministry that is coaching. We love seeing our men shape young boys into men. However, I am a coach’s wife. This life is different for us.
My husband is so supportive, and even put aside coaching for two years for me to teach overseas, but I have to realize that my dreams are his dreams too. I want him to be a head coach, I want to yell in the stands and be proud to say, “Yep, my husband did that!” ...........I have to let go and it is hard. Knowing you are not alone and that many successful, bright, and intelligent women are simply supporting their family and husband the best that they can is comforting. It will take some time, but I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I will keep trying, because hey people win the lotto, why can’t I get that dream job I want.
OR your dream job will find you in time. For instance I have friends that never thought they would be stay at home moms or teaching when that's not what they got thier degree in, but ended up exactly where they needed to be and what they wanted to do. Take some time to reflect and evaluate what you are doing and why God chose that for you. You might be in that certain grade teaching because little Johnny needs your care, or you need to be home to have that wonderful time with your babies, or God chose you to be with a coach and he knows this is your ministry as a couple! I just won’t lose sight of the fact that my REAL DREAM is the life I live with my husband and kids and not what I DO!
Love your life and let the Lord have it! Thank you to all the coach’s wives out there who gave up something for their wonderful lives. And a big thank you to my husband for always believing in me and supporting me!
Well, plain and simple I am a coach’s Wife and it’s different for us.
The wife of a coach knows his love and passion for coaching comes first, and we are ok with that. We love our teams, boys, or girls, towns, and the ministry that is coaching. We love seeing our men shape young boys into men. However, I am a coach’s wife. This life is different for us.
My husband is so supportive, and even put aside coaching for two years for me to teach overseas, but I have to realize that my dreams are his dreams too. I want him to be a head coach, I want to yell in the stands and be proud to say, “Yep, my husband did that!” ...........I have to let go and it is hard. Knowing you are not alone and that many successful, bright, and intelligent women are simply supporting their family and husband the best that they can is comforting. It will take some time, but I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I will keep trying, because hey people win the lotto, why can’t I get that dream job I want.
OR your dream job will find you in time. For instance I have friends that never thought they would be stay at home moms or teaching when that's not what they got thier degree in, but ended up exactly where they needed to be and what they wanted to do. Take some time to reflect and evaluate what you are doing and why God chose that for you. You might be in that certain grade teaching because little Johnny needs your care, or you need to be home to have that wonderful time with your babies, or God chose you to be with a coach and he knows this is your ministry as a couple! I just won’t lose sight of the fact that my REAL DREAM is the life I live with my husband and kids and not what I DO!
Love your life and let the Lord have it! Thank you to all the coach’s wives out there who gave up something for their wonderful lives. And a big thank you to my husband for always believing in me and supporting me!
Saturday, March 3, 2018
Kind of coach’s wife
Yesterday, our basketball team lost in the first round of the regional tournament. As the game was going on I noticed something that I have wanted to write about for a while. First there are two kinds of coach’s wives. I am a screamer! I yell and chant and cheer on my team! Last night I cheered even though the scoreboard said we were losing by 30, and that’s a lot in basketball. Through tears and heart wrenching bad calls I tried my hardest to be louder than the other fans. On one hand I hoped there was a coach’s Wife on the other team doing the same thing. The other kind of coach’s Wife is the non screamer! She will yell, clap and cheer, but is calm and collected. I wish I could be her sometimes, but that just isn’t me. However, that is ok, and that is what our husbands married us for, who we are.
At home when the end comes I still have to be his hope. I want that to let those coach’s wives who don’t experience winning seasons, it is tough but you still have to be the cheerleader. I have been through the winning seasons too and you have to enjoy the moments.
Even though our team lost, the memories I take away were of how invested my kids were for their dad, and how they cried for all their “new” big brothers on the team. Also how much my coach appreciated my kind of cheering for him, and that look of thanks for being here.
Onward and upward, one day we will make State. Love you babe!
At home when the end comes I still have to be his hope. I want that to let those coach’s wives who don’t experience winning seasons, it is tough but you still have to be the cheerleader. I have been through the winning seasons too and you have to enjoy the moments.
Even though our team lost, the memories I take away were of how invested my kids were for their dad, and how they cried for all their “new” big brothers on the team. Also how much my coach appreciated my kind of cheering for him, and that look of thanks for being here.
Onward and upward, one day we will make State. Love you babe!
Sunday, November 26, 2017
No Words for the End of a Season
I take every season as it comes. I absolutely love football and what my husband does! In fact I would be easy to pick out from the crowd because I am the loud one in the stands. If I could yell at golf tournaments I would( I know that’s not proper etiquette) but I am just saying I would.
A while back I wrote a post about the end of a season. I want to go back and revisit this after several different ending seasons under my belt. Let me say, it never gets easier. Sorry, the losses are still tough and the wins are still great. I have gone through a losing season where you just want to get at least one win, to the winning season where the end is heartbreaking. We have yet to reach that elusive state game, and winning seasons don’t come around all the time. It is in times of adversity how you rise that matters. I hope people realize that my coach puts all he has into his game plan, practice, and love for those boys. So when you do have a great season and see all the potential, but the chips just don’t fall your way it is very heartbreaking. Most people will get over the loss in a day, but my coach will never forget. Please understand if he just wants some time to process. I love my coach and for him he has to process the loss and season on his own. All the wife can do is be there to listen and give positive feedback. So just be there. Fans criticism isn’t needed trust me he is already beating himself up about it. Just realize winning and losing seasons come and go. Back your team and your coach this is never the end, just another chapter.
A while back I wrote a post about the end of a season. I want to go back and revisit this after several different ending seasons under my belt. Let me say, it never gets easier. Sorry, the losses are still tough and the wins are still great. I have gone through a losing season where you just want to get at least one win, to the winning season where the end is heartbreaking. We have yet to reach that elusive state game, and winning seasons don’t come around all the time. It is in times of adversity how you rise that matters. I hope people realize that my coach puts all he has into his game plan, practice, and love for those boys. So when you do have a great season and see all the potential, but the chips just don’t fall your way it is very heartbreaking. Most people will get over the loss in a day, but my coach will never forget. Please understand if he just wants some time to process. I love my coach and for him he has to process the loss and season on his own. All the wife can do is be there to listen and give positive feedback. So just be there. Fans criticism isn’t needed trust me he is already beating himself up about it. Just realize winning and losing seasons come and go. Back your team and your coach this is never the end, just another chapter.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
When you sleep
Want to know what he does when you sleep?
Week nights he is up wondering if he covered everything he could in practice. He is thinking of plays and defensive or offensive schemes. He is wondering about those adjustments he needs to make. All week he is thinking: How can I do my best?
On Thursday night, he is all nerves. Will we do what we can? Have they changed anything?
On Friday he is the last one to sleep. There is film to trade, and equipment to put up, and laundry to start. The whole town will be asleep before he is. Then he is the first one up. There is no sleeping in during the season. He will work on Saturday, maybe nap when everyone is awake, because he didn’t sleep all week. He will work again Sunday and start all over.
So what does he do when you sleep?
He worries about those kids who are struggling to pass, not to have them play, but so they keep trying in school. He worries about those injured kids and if they will shut down or become leaders. He wonders if he is being the best example he can. He wonders if your sons are understanding how to become a team and count on each other. He is wondering if what he does makes a difference to just one kid. It doesn’t matter, to be recognized, that’s not why he does it. He does it for the Glory if God and the building up of young men.
What does he do when you sleep?
He wonders if he missed anything at school for his kids. He wonders when he will get to hug them goodnight. He wonders if they are doing well in school and if they are liked. He wonders when he will play games with his son and dolls with his little girl. He wonders if all this time away still means he is a good dad. (You are) he wonders if is Wife will be awake when he gets home on Fridays (I will) he wonders when our next date night will be. He wonders when we can finally just sit and be together. He wonders how his wife can do all she does without him. He wonders if he is a good husband. (You are)
This is what my coach does. He knows every answer to these statements, but that doesn’t mean he stops thinking them. This doesn’t mean he is a bad coach, teacher, father, or husband, it means the exact opposite. He is a great coach, teacher, Dad, and husband.
Week nights he is up wondering if he covered everything he could in practice. He is thinking of plays and defensive or offensive schemes. He is wondering about those adjustments he needs to make. All week he is thinking: How can I do my best?
On Thursday night, he is all nerves. Will we do what we can? Have they changed anything?
On Friday he is the last one to sleep. There is film to trade, and equipment to put up, and laundry to start. The whole town will be asleep before he is. Then he is the first one up. There is no sleeping in during the season. He will work on Saturday, maybe nap when everyone is awake, because he didn’t sleep all week. He will work again Sunday and start all over.
So what does he do when you sleep?
He worries about those kids who are struggling to pass, not to have them play, but so they keep trying in school. He worries about those injured kids and if they will shut down or become leaders. He wonders if he is being the best example he can. He wonders if your sons are understanding how to become a team and count on each other. He is wondering if what he does makes a difference to just one kid. It doesn’t matter, to be recognized, that’s not why he does it. He does it for the Glory if God and the building up of young men.
What does he do when you sleep?
He wonders if he missed anything at school for his kids. He wonders when he will get to hug them goodnight. He wonders if they are doing well in school and if they are liked. He wonders when he will play games with his son and dolls with his little girl. He wonders if all this time away still means he is a good dad. (You are) he wonders if is Wife will be awake when he gets home on Fridays (I will) he wonders when our next date night will be. He wonders when we can finally just sit and be together. He wonders how his wife can do all she does without him. He wonders if he is a good husband. (You are)
This is what my coach does. He knows every answer to these statements, but that doesn’t mean he stops thinking them. This doesn’t mean he is a bad coach, teacher, father, or husband, it means the exact opposite. He is a great coach, teacher, Dad, and husband.
Friday, August 25, 2017
A Letter to My Coach
Dear Coach,
I love you! I want you to know that I am so proud of you! I want you to know that I know what I was getting into when I married you. You always have my back and I always have yours. I think you are the best husband and father. Everyday you tell me you love me and it swells my heart. You call me to say good night when you are away for whatever reason. You want to say good night to your kids even though you only gave them one hug all day, just so they know you love them. I know your heart aches to be away but just know we are ok. In fact we couldn't be more proud! We miss you but know you have a higher purpose to teach and be there for those young men you coach. We know you love us, but we also know you love them. We are happy that this calling is where God has lead you and we want to be there right with you. I feel your pain, sorrow, disappointment, joy, and anticipation. We love the hype before you take the field and the Secret signal we have to show each other love. We celebrate with you and beam with pride at your accomplishments. We will always be there for you, even when the storm is bad on the outside, know that inside our home is rock solid and unwavering. We have your back and no one, not even the Devil himself could break us apart, because the Lord our God brought us together. So when you need solace from the storm or just your cup to be refilled, we are that ever constant flow of peace and love! Lee Valdez.....God gave you gifts and he is using you to greater his kingdom on earth. No we are not perfect, and we will stumble and fall. You remember that this is your vocation and you answered when the Lord called. I just want you to know, I answered that call and am ever thankful for his presence in our marriage and in our family! Have a great season!
Love,
Your Wife
I love you! I want you to know that I am so proud of you! I want you to know that I know what I was getting into when I married you. You always have my back and I always have yours. I think you are the best husband and father. Everyday you tell me you love me and it swells my heart. You call me to say good night when you are away for whatever reason. You want to say good night to your kids even though you only gave them one hug all day, just so they know you love them. I know your heart aches to be away but just know we are ok. In fact we couldn't be more proud! We miss you but know you have a higher purpose to teach and be there for those young men you coach. We know you love us, but we also know you love them. We are happy that this calling is where God has lead you and we want to be there right with you. I feel your pain, sorrow, disappointment, joy, and anticipation. We love the hype before you take the field and the Secret signal we have to show each other love. We celebrate with you and beam with pride at your accomplishments. We will always be there for you, even when the storm is bad on the outside, know that inside our home is rock solid and unwavering. We have your back and no one, not even the Devil himself could break us apart, because the Lord our God brought us together. So when you need solace from the storm or just your cup to be refilled, we are that ever constant flow of peace and love! Lee Valdez.....God gave you gifts and he is using you to greater his kingdom on earth. No we are not perfect, and we will stumble and fall. You remember that this is your vocation and you answered when the Lord called. I just want you to know, I answered that call and am ever thankful for his presence in our marriage and in our family! Have a great season!
Love,
Your Wife
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