Belief

Merry Christmas!

I want to focus this post on belief! Belief for a family is very important. A belief system is essential to sports. For most fans it is wearing a certain outfit, or eating a certain thing. These little traditions can mean the world to a coach or fan. When my husband was coaching in a small Texas town when game day would come, he would wear the same outfit for each game. He had like five pair of khaki pants, but when the team was winning he would wear the same ones. Same difference when they would lose, he would change and say well that outfit didn't work. Besides silly little sports traditions a family needs to have their own traditions.

Traditions are so critical to a coaching family. First your coach will work many hours, and the holidays is usually your only break in the year. It means the end of football season, and the beginning of another sport like baseball, basketball, or golf. So when you know that this seasonal time is so precious, make a family tradition. I have taken some traditions that my family use to do and melded them to my family, along with adding some new ones. We always make Christmas cookies together! We always go to church Christmas Eve, and we always eat meatball sandwich's on Christmas eve (its an Italian thing). What ever it may be make a tradition or traditions for your family. These are the memories that will last forever. These are the memories that you want your children to remember and use in their own families, so that they know they are the most important reason we do what we do. That they know first comes God, then Family, then Sports ;)! Merry Christmas!

The All Seeing EYE

Watch out its Halloween season! Everyone is watching for those scary things. This means as a coach it is either district play back in the states or closing out the season. For any reason all season long your coach, your family, and you the wife are watched. People in your football community watch what you wear, what you eat, who you talk too especially, and how you act toward them and others. Most new coach's wives think, oh, I can just go to the game and just cheer go home and that's it. Wrong! The Role of a Coach's wife is to be there for your husband. Part of that is presenting yourself well. Take care of yourself, for you and for your family. Say hi to everyone. This means every parent family member of a player or coach. They may not have a voice in the future of your husbands position single handed, but they do influence a community. A community proclaiming victory is much louder than a single human. When we lived in Texas I tried to make sure everyone knew who I was. One I wanted any "single women" know my presence was there and to stay away from my man(that's the selfish reason), and two so everyone knew I supported my husband and the team. I believe that if you present who you are to people and you have no secrets, then they have no ammunition to use against you if they feel so inclined. I have talked about relationships, and this is where this comes into play. When you are true, and honest people know it, and they see it in the way you publicly treat others. I am a representation of my husband and I want people to like him, and if they see that I am by cordially saying hi to everyone involved, they know that they are important. Everyone likes to be acknowledged if they know you, no one likes to be ignored. So if I know a player or family member of a player is around, make it a point to say hi to them. My children have not learned this yet, but I am happy that I am teaching them to always remember who you are and who you represent.
          If a majority of people know you and your family as good people, when those few people come attacking know you have represented your self well. Sometimes the attackers win, and sometimes they don't. But represent yourself well and when the trials come you can be confident in yourself that you did nothing wrong. Look out cause you are always watched, you might not get paid like a celebrity or headlines or magazines. You will be news to people in your community. Best of luck and

"REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU REPRESENT!"

Thanks Dad for teaching me this!

Revisiting the Past

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I have been meaning to. I am sure off season went slowly, but it is that time of year again and the air is getting cooler(stateside), and football is in the air! Before we talk about do's and don'ts of a season, we are going to close leaving your first school behind for a new one. When you are part of a community as we once were in Texas everyone knows everyone, and everyone knows every one's business. That's just the way it is in "small town Texas football." When you leave a place that has accepted you into the community and made you apart of their home lives because your husband the coach is talked about at the dinner table and social gatherings, you leave an impression. This impression is either fleeting or life long lasting. I saw from a background the impact my Coaching husband had on his students and their families. I also became good friends with some of the student families. But mind you keep your heart guarded and your gossip even closer! This brings me to revisiting the past. We had the rare occasion to revisit one of the most influential places my husband has coached in his life. We as a couple learned to be a coaching couple, and I truly learned some hard lessons on being a coach's wife. Some lessons I have shared already, but others are yet to come! Revisiting this old stomping ground has made my appreciation of those who truly loved us be appreciated! When you leave a positive impact, you are welcomed back with open arms. This was our experience and it was great! Now, not everyone loved us and those who didn't we didn't rekindle with. Revisiting the past can be very pleasant experience when you, your family, and your coach treat all those with respect, dignity, and honesty. Major rule though, guard your heart and those of your family, cause you never know when God has another plan for you, and you will be saying goodbye.

Having babies and a coach as a husband

Kids are amazing. Something changes in you when you hold your baby in your arms.  There is either the pressure to have your kids excel at sports, or you don't mind. Inside I would like to have my students on sports. I love to watch my son try to please his father. Pressure will always be around them. I know that as a coaches kid gets older, the job is sometimes linked with the ability of your kids. It goes the same for a girl. I think the best thing is knowing that if they see me and my husband exercising, then they know it is a good thing, and they will want to do it also. The key is having your kids know what you do, and making them apart of it. Including your family in all thing that are related to coaching really makes the sporting events fun! So remember, keep everyone involved.

Ending a season

Everyone knows ends of things aren't great, except the charred bits on a good piece of BBQ meat. Well, each sports season comes to an end. Having football work different in another country is a challenge. While high school ends around beginning December for those lucky to make it deep in playoffs, here we kind of play year round depending on the team. One team my husband coached just ended their inaugural season. With a heart wrenching loss. Sometimes it is better to lose by a lot then to get really close and lose because of other factors not in your control. This year the team lost because of one bad call. I remember another team that ended their season because the star quarterback blew out his knee at the first few plays of the game. And we were beaten by a landslide. Still it is never easy finishing a season, especially when you are close to the team and know how much they deserve the recognition. Being a coaches wife, like I said, you take it to heart. But the best advice I can give a new coaches wife, is always keep mentioning the positives. Like, "Now you have time to golf(fish,computer)" , or "So who do you want on your fantasy team next year?" Or "when does the NFL combine start?" If you are a coaches wife and don't know what fantasy football, or the NFL combine is, LOOK IT UP! It might save your life one day! Or if your coach is a real sports fanatic like mine, you can always talk about baseball recruits and trades, their doing that crap all the time, and its just a google search away. Happy Distracting you end of season Coach's wives!

TAking It to HEart

Hummmm...... Being a coach's wife is fun, but sometimes the scars are more visible from the result of a game. Each coach deals with loss differently. My coach maybe down for a day or two, but refocuses and gets back to fixing the problems. Others might take it to heart. As the wife of the coach when you truly enjoy what your husband does, you take each game to heart, win or lose. The experience is very tender and genuine. A loss for most people is sad, but is gotten over quickly. I totally don't understand why NFL games make my husband so mad, its not like he sees the money. I do know why he may get upset with his own team, because we do see the money from this. Currently no money, but the loss is in the legacy. All anyone cares really is if the team is winning. Back to taking things to heart. A loss to me is so much harder, I first hear the fans talk about the loss, while waiting for the coach, I see and talk to the players, and I come home and talk some more to the coach over the loss. Now my kids are giving sad faces and saying "We didn't win right?" All directions, and so one cut is the loss, and every mention there after is just deepening the wound. I know most coach's wives don't take the loss to heart, but I am what you would call over emotional anyway. I tend to take a lot of things to heart. Wins fill my heart with joy. I feel it again from every angle, families, players, and coach. So if it is win or lose taking games to heart is part of the business. Future coach's wives, get use to it.  Trust me your coach will appreciate it!

Work and Play

Work, Work, Work! You wives of a coach know his job is never done @5 when practice ends. Football can consume your every thought. Dinner must be quick it's football season, gotta go practice, or gotta go watch film. Off Season, dinner must be quick gotta go watch film, or lets have hot dogs, or nachos this reminds me of football. Now if your husband Coach's more than one sport, well dinner is always fast all year. Another thought, gotta keep the house clean, anyone could come over at any time. How's the weather for the game? Do we have all the gear? Here in another country we worry about paying for practice space, and dues, and do we even have enough equipment? Don't forget with all this I work a full time job, and a full time Mom. It is exhausting, but worth it because if you work hard you play hard.
Play! Play! Play! Family time is so important. As soon as practice is over or game, we are the first ones coach hugs, kisses, and smiles at. It is the VERY BEST feeling in the world to know your husband is working so hard, and is just so grateful you take care of everything else. I hope all Coach's remind their wives how much they appreciate them. I love it when Lee does this, and he tells me often how great I am! Who would get tired of that? Don't forget date night! That alone time, before football was in your life, so precious to keep having those moments.

Love and Loss

Every Coach's wife can say they love that role when your husband's team is winning. I know I am married to a GREAT coach when you can lose every game you played, everyone still comes to practice, and every player still believes in the team. I know my husband is a great coach because even if a person has to leave the team, they are still upset about it. Coaching is not just on the field, it is the atmosphere to the team, and it dispenses out from there. The role of a Coach's wife means you need twice the size of your heart. My initial feeling is my heart aches for my husband, because I know how hard he works, and I know how much he wants to win. You know all the plays, routes, and game plans.  My second feeling goes out to the team, and I know how hard they worked. It always goes through my mind, maybe I didn't yell enough, or say "Keep it up," as they walk out during halftime. I know my husband is a great coach and human because as a Coach's wife you hear a lot of trash talk that the coach might not hear, and after a loss I didn't hear any of that. I heard "we could have tried harder" from the players, and if we were just faster we could have won. How does a coach do that? How does a coach do his job well, Lose, and still not get blamed by players,Coach's, and fans. Maybe I didn't hear it, or missed it. I was in a haze, but something tells me that's just the respect my husband has earned. I love my Coach, and even after a loss, our community still loves him!

In Sickness and In Health

It seems that once you are a wife and mom, sickness doesn't exists. I find myself in this current predicament. I am sick with the flu, yet I am still cooking, cleaning, and worried about getting the concession stand ready for the game on Friday. Sickness is not an ailment, but a little speed bump in the day. I am working at checking things off the list for the concession stand, when oh, wait I have to go take some medicine, or a nap? Ha! Nap, that's funny. But really it is fun and exhilarating to know that you are contributing to something that makes others happy. Health is what makes all the other duties of mom and wife easier, but no matter, it is what it is.
Right now my family lives in another country and my husband is still working as an American Football coach, and is starting a team here from scratch. So when I say I am in charge of the concession stand I mean me. We have no boosters or 'Mom's' of players. There are wife's of players since the team is made up of adults. These ladies help out, but if anyone was going to step up it would be me. I guess that's the Role of a Coach's Wife!

Role of a Coach's Wife Starts

Coach is a person that can be anyone to you. It may be a mom, dad, school teacher, or mentor. For me Coach is my husband. Coach is the father of my children.
The role of a Football Coach's wife is to be the number one fan! All the while holding a full time Job, diplomatic face for the team in the stands, mini home manager, and being Super Mom! I have been in the business as they say for 5 years. I thought being as this is my six year in this role, and my Husband is now a Head Football Coach, I can really start to document what life is like when sports is what you married into. Now before life as a Coach's wife I liked sports but didn't really understand it. I also had no idea what I was getting into, or how to deal with the challenges. Most people do not know what a Coach's wife goes through. There is a lot more to a wife on the sidelines than most know about. I hope this blog helps young couples starting into the Coach's wife role, and maybe bring to light some tips and tricks to keep your marriage happy and health above all t that comes with a life under Friday night lights.