I take every season as it comes. I absolutely love football and what my husband does! In fact I would be easy to pick out from the crowd because I am the loud one in the stands. If I could yell at golf tournaments I would( I know that’s not proper etiquette) but I am just saying I would.
A while back I wrote a post about the end of a season. I want to go back and revisit this after several different ending seasons under my belt. Let me say, it never gets easier. Sorry, the losses are still tough and the wins are still great. I have gone through a losing season where you just want to get at least one win, to the winning season where the end is heartbreaking. We have yet to reach that elusive state game, and winning seasons don’t come around all the time. It is in times of adversity how you rise that matters. I hope people realize that my coach puts all he has into his game plan, practice, and love for those boys. So when you do have a great season and see all the potential, but the chips just don’t fall your way it is very heartbreaking. Most people will get over the loss in a day, but my coach will never forget. Please understand if he just wants some time to process. I love my coach and for him he has to process the loss and season on his own. All the wife can do is be there to listen and give positive feedback. So just be there. Fans criticism isn’t needed trust me he is already beating himself up about it. Just realize winning and losing seasons come and go. Back your team and your coach this is never the end, just another chapter.
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
When you sleep
Want to know what he does when you sleep?
Week nights he is up wondering if he covered everything he could in practice. He is thinking of plays and defensive or offensive schemes. He is wondering about those adjustments he needs to make. All week he is thinking: How can I do my best?
On Thursday night, he is all nerves. Will we do what we can? Have they changed anything?
On Friday he is the last one to sleep. There is film to trade, and equipment to put up, and laundry to start. The whole town will be asleep before he is. Then he is the first one up. There is no sleeping in during the season. He will work on Saturday, maybe nap when everyone is awake, because he didn’t sleep all week. He will work again Sunday and start all over.
So what does he do when you sleep?
He worries about those kids who are struggling to pass, not to have them play, but so they keep trying in school. He worries about those injured kids and if they will shut down or become leaders. He wonders if he is being the best example he can. He wonders if your sons are understanding how to become a team and count on each other. He is wondering if what he does makes a difference to just one kid. It doesn’t matter, to be recognized, that’s not why he does it. He does it for the Glory if God and the building up of young men.
What does he do when you sleep?
He wonders if he missed anything at school for his kids. He wonders when he will get to hug them goodnight. He wonders if they are doing well in school and if they are liked. He wonders when he will play games with his son and dolls with his little girl. He wonders if all this time away still means he is a good dad. (You are) he wonders if is Wife will be awake when he gets home on Fridays (I will) he wonders when our next date night will be. He wonders when we can finally just sit and be together. He wonders how his wife can do all she does without him. He wonders if he is a good husband. (You are)
This is what my coach does. He knows every answer to these statements, but that doesn’t mean he stops thinking them. This doesn’t mean he is a bad coach, teacher, father, or husband, it means the exact opposite. He is a great coach, teacher, Dad, and husband.
Week nights he is up wondering if he covered everything he could in practice. He is thinking of plays and defensive or offensive schemes. He is wondering about those adjustments he needs to make. All week he is thinking: How can I do my best?
On Thursday night, he is all nerves. Will we do what we can? Have they changed anything?
On Friday he is the last one to sleep. There is film to trade, and equipment to put up, and laundry to start. The whole town will be asleep before he is. Then he is the first one up. There is no sleeping in during the season. He will work on Saturday, maybe nap when everyone is awake, because he didn’t sleep all week. He will work again Sunday and start all over.
So what does he do when you sleep?
He worries about those kids who are struggling to pass, not to have them play, but so they keep trying in school. He worries about those injured kids and if they will shut down or become leaders. He wonders if he is being the best example he can. He wonders if your sons are understanding how to become a team and count on each other. He is wondering if what he does makes a difference to just one kid. It doesn’t matter, to be recognized, that’s not why he does it. He does it for the Glory if God and the building up of young men.
What does he do when you sleep?
He wonders if he missed anything at school for his kids. He wonders when he will get to hug them goodnight. He wonders if they are doing well in school and if they are liked. He wonders when he will play games with his son and dolls with his little girl. He wonders if all this time away still means he is a good dad. (You are) he wonders if is Wife will be awake when he gets home on Fridays (I will) he wonders when our next date night will be. He wonders when we can finally just sit and be together. He wonders how his wife can do all she does without him. He wonders if he is a good husband. (You are)
This is what my coach does. He knows every answer to these statements, but that doesn’t mean he stops thinking them. This doesn’t mean he is a bad coach, teacher, father, or husband, it means the exact opposite. He is a great coach, teacher, Dad, and husband.
Friday, August 25, 2017
A Letter to My Coach
Dear Coach,
I love you! I want you to know that I am so proud of you! I want you to know that I know what I was getting into when I married you. You always have my back and I always have yours. I think you are the best husband and father. Everyday you tell me you love me and it swells my heart. You call me to say good night when you are away for whatever reason. You want to say good night to your kids even though you only gave them one hug all day, just so they know you love them. I know your heart aches to be away but just know we are ok. In fact we couldn't be more proud! We miss you but know you have a higher purpose to teach and be there for those young men you coach. We know you love us, but we also know you love them. We are happy that this calling is where God has lead you and we want to be there right with you. I feel your pain, sorrow, disappointment, joy, and anticipation. We love the hype before you take the field and the Secret signal we have to show each other love. We celebrate with you and beam with pride at your accomplishments. We will always be there for you, even when the storm is bad on the outside, know that inside our home is rock solid and unwavering. We have your back and no one, not even the Devil himself could break us apart, because the Lord our God brought us together. So when you need solace from the storm or just your cup to be refilled, we are that ever constant flow of peace and love! Lee Valdez.....God gave you gifts and he is using you to greater his kingdom on earth. No we are not perfect, and we will stumble and fall. You remember that this is your vocation and you answered when the Lord called. I just want you to know, I answered that call and am ever thankful for his presence in our marriage and in our family! Have a great season!
Love,
Your Wife
I love you! I want you to know that I am so proud of you! I want you to know that I know what I was getting into when I married you. You always have my back and I always have yours. I think you are the best husband and father. Everyday you tell me you love me and it swells my heart. You call me to say good night when you are away for whatever reason. You want to say good night to your kids even though you only gave them one hug all day, just so they know you love them. I know your heart aches to be away but just know we are ok. In fact we couldn't be more proud! We miss you but know you have a higher purpose to teach and be there for those young men you coach. We know you love us, but we also know you love them. We are happy that this calling is where God has lead you and we want to be there right with you. I feel your pain, sorrow, disappointment, joy, and anticipation. We love the hype before you take the field and the Secret signal we have to show each other love. We celebrate with you and beam with pride at your accomplishments. We will always be there for you, even when the storm is bad on the outside, know that inside our home is rock solid and unwavering. We have your back and no one, not even the Devil himself could break us apart, because the Lord our God brought us together. So when you need solace from the storm or just your cup to be refilled, we are that ever constant flow of peace and love! Lee Valdez.....God gave you gifts and he is using you to greater his kingdom on earth. No we are not perfect, and we will stumble and fall. You remember that this is your vocation and you answered when the Lord called. I just want you to know, I answered that call and am ever thankful for his presence in our marriage and in our family! Have a great season!
Love,
Your Wife
Monday, August 7, 2017
They are more than Athletes
Coaching revolves around teams and athletes. My husband coaches more than just athletes.
He coaches brothers and sisters. My kids love the students. They gain big brothers and sisters on any team my husband coaches. I know you respect my coach by the way you treat my kids. Remember my kids look up to you because you spend so much time with their father. You are more than Athletes!
You are special to him. My coach loves you like his own and will tell you every time he sees you. He means it when he says, "I love you son!" He wants to push you to be the best you can be. He want to teach you teamwork, perseverance, dedication, and what it means to be a brother to your teammates. He wants you to learn that this is not a game about 1, but a game you work together to achieve greatness. He wants to pick you up when you fall down and not make any excuses because he believes in you. You are more than just Athletes!
Because you are special to him, you are special to me. I love you and care for you too because he does. I yell my loudest because I want to win just as much as you do. I care for your wins and your losses. So I am going to put one extra pressure on you you might not have thought of.
Dear Athletes,
Put all your effort into your team and never stop working. When you feel like you want to give up, don't, turn it up and give even more. Don't lose hope, quit, or give up cause we won't. If you aren't getting the playing time you want, then work for it, it will come. And if it doesn't encourage your teammates that are on the field because you are still important to your team. Positivity can do miracles, and negativity can eat away at you. Don't bring that negativity into your locker room or on that field. Look at your fellow brothers on that field and cherish these moments you will not get them back. Treat your coaches with love and respect because they care. I am lending you my husband and my children their father, take care of him. Make our sacrifices worth it by giving all you have and then some! You are More than just Athletes!
Love,
YOUR Coach's Wife.
He coaches brothers and sisters. My kids love the students. They gain big brothers and sisters on any team my husband coaches. I know you respect my coach by the way you treat my kids. Remember my kids look up to you because you spend so much time with their father. You are more than Athletes!
You are special to him. My coach loves you like his own and will tell you every time he sees you. He means it when he says, "I love you son!" He wants to push you to be the best you can be. He want to teach you teamwork, perseverance, dedication, and what it means to be a brother to your teammates. He wants you to learn that this is not a game about 1, but a game you work together to achieve greatness. He wants to pick you up when you fall down and not make any excuses because he believes in you. You are more than just Athletes!
Because you are special to him, you are special to me. I love you and care for you too because he does. I yell my loudest because I want to win just as much as you do. I care for your wins and your losses. So I am going to put one extra pressure on you you might not have thought of.
Dear Athletes,
Put all your effort into your team and never stop working. When you feel like you want to give up, don't, turn it up and give even more. Don't lose hope, quit, or give up cause we won't. If you aren't getting the playing time you want, then work for it, it will come. And if it doesn't encourage your teammates that are on the field because you are still important to your team. Positivity can do miracles, and negativity can eat away at you. Don't bring that negativity into your locker room or on that field. Look at your fellow brothers on that field and cherish these moments you will not get them back. Treat your coaches with love and respect because they care. I am lending you my husband and my children their father, take care of him. Make our sacrifices worth it by giving all you have and then some! You are More than just Athletes!
Love,
YOUR Coach's Wife.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
What I wish some people knew....
Most people work from 8a.m.-5p.m. or they work half days, or nights or mornings. Whatever the case, everyone has different work hours. When you have your vacation or work free days you don't want to do work, plain and simple. Well, this is not the case for Coaches. Unless you are in the business of coaching (this excludes just teaching or volunteering for little league seasons) you don't know what it is like. Granted I am thankful that he is normally safe at his job except for the traveling which always has me nervous, but thank God he isn't being shot at like other jobs. God Bless those wives!!! But I cannot claim to understand what those wives go through either. I just want to explain what I go through.
Ok, so we normally get the, "Wow, you get three months off !" This line just rubs me the wrong way but besides that people don't know what it is like to be a coaching family. Here is a little run down of a normal school day schedule. Up by 6:30a.m. ( no seeing his own kids off to school), usually some type of athletics, teaching all day, then athletics after school with maybe a meeting in after that till 7:00p.m.
So that's just the week, but the weekend he works too. Thursday and Friday nights are till well after midnight, and then he gets up Saturday to work all day, and then goes to work for about half the day on Sunday (depending on the school). Why am I saying his schedule? Well, so maybe someone reading this understands.
1. He is not being rude. He is just tired.
2. No, he doesn't want to come to your cookout or BBQ. He wants to spend time with us.
3. No, he doesn't want to talk about football or what happened on Friday night. He knows! He was there!!!
4. Please don't ask me where he is, because 99% of the time he is working. Sorry, it's just me and the kids coming to your kids birthday party.
5. Honestly, we are not trying to be rude, standoffish, or even antisocial. We just want to soak up the family time when we can.
So when someone says, "Wow, you get three months off!" It rubs me the wrong way, because first of all its barely 2 months with all the camps, and workshops, and planning for next season, and two-a-days, and clinics. The second thing is that the coaches open the gyms and weight rooms all summer long, taking turns so they can have some vacation time. So when my husband doesn't open the gym or weight room on his night off it is to be with his family. If he can he will, but time is precious for us so I wish people knew that when he has to go to work we don't get that time back.
Ok, so we normally get the, "Wow, you get three months off !" This line just rubs me the wrong way but besides that people don't know what it is like to be a coaching family. Here is a little run down of a normal school day schedule. Up by 6:30a.m. ( no seeing his own kids off to school), usually some type of athletics, teaching all day, then athletics after school with maybe a meeting in after that till 7:00p.m.
So that's just the week, but the weekend he works too. Thursday and Friday nights are till well after midnight, and then he gets up Saturday to work all day, and then goes to work for about half the day on Sunday (depending on the school). Why am I saying his schedule? Well, so maybe someone reading this understands.
1. He is not being rude. He is just tired.
2. No, he doesn't want to come to your cookout or BBQ. He wants to spend time with us.
3. No, he doesn't want to talk about football or what happened on Friday night. He knows! He was there!!!
4. Please don't ask me where he is, because 99% of the time he is working. Sorry, it's just me and the kids coming to your kids birthday party.
5. Honestly, we are not trying to be rude, standoffish, or even antisocial. We just want to soak up the family time when we can.
So when someone says, "Wow, you get three months off!" It rubs me the wrong way, because first of all its barely 2 months with all the camps, and workshops, and planning for next season, and two-a-days, and clinics. The second thing is that the coaches open the gyms and weight rooms all summer long, taking turns so they can have some vacation time. So when my husband doesn't open the gym or weight room on his night off it is to be with his family. If he can he will, but time is precious for us so I wish people knew that when he has to go to work we don't get that time back.
Friday, July 7, 2017
When He Doesn't Get the Job
What do you do when he doesn't get the job he has worked so hard for? What if you watch another person come in to the position he so dearly wanted?
These questions are hard to answer. I have been on both sides as a wife. I have seen my husband come to a new school taking over a role someone else's husband use to hold. Now, a position he would have liked but was not moved into but awarded to someone else NEW. By new I mean, new to the town and district. This happens often.
The first time I witnessed what teachers call 'reassignment' Let's just say My husband and I did not take well to the news of replacement well. Now this was in the UAE and we handled the news poorly, even though it was a volunteer position. We took that as a lesson and when moving back to the USA decided if something like this happened again we would face the challenge differently.
I witnessed a beautiful Coaching couple done wrong by 'reassignment' rise to the cringing news with the utmost poise. I was astonished at how cordial, smiley, and ever unchanging they were in their attitudes at work and in the public eye. They continued to go to games, talk to towns people, and interact as they always had, warmly with student athletes. I admired their resolve.
So when it was our turn again, I was ready to face the changes. I believe in God and his purpose for myself and my husband in the Coaching world. My husband has the same position he had but was not given the opportunity to advance when the opportunity presented itself. No one can know why some get the job over others. You just can't. All you can do is change your reaction. You can grow up and stand together like the poised couple and be the same people you always were, or you react poorly and let the negativity eat into your lives.
It isn't always easy, but I remind myself that New people coming in are only seeking opportunity, not stealing it. Old people being 'reassigned' or staying in the same position is a testament to your resolve and your Trust in why God put you in your ministry.
Our choice is to always serve God first! The rest of how our lives change or don't is only affected by our attitude.
These questions are hard to answer. I have been on both sides as a wife. I have seen my husband come to a new school taking over a role someone else's husband use to hold. Now, a position he would have liked but was not moved into but awarded to someone else NEW. By new I mean, new to the town and district. This happens often.
The first time I witnessed what teachers call 'reassignment' Let's just say My husband and I did not take well to the news of replacement well. Now this was in the UAE and we handled the news poorly, even though it was a volunteer position. We took that as a lesson and when moving back to the USA decided if something like this happened again we would face the challenge differently.
I witnessed a beautiful Coaching couple done wrong by 'reassignment' rise to the cringing news with the utmost poise. I was astonished at how cordial, smiley, and ever unchanging they were in their attitudes at work and in the public eye. They continued to go to games, talk to towns people, and interact as they always had, warmly with student athletes. I admired their resolve.
So when it was our turn again, I was ready to face the changes. I believe in God and his purpose for myself and my husband in the Coaching world. My husband has the same position he had but was not given the opportunity to advance when the opportunity presented itself. No one can know why some get the job over others. You just can't. All you can do is change your reaction. You can grow up and stand together like the poised couple and be the same people you always were, or you react poorly and let the negativity eat into your lives.
It isn't always easy, but I remind myself that New people coming in are only seeking opportunity, not stealing it. Old people being 'reassigned' or staying in the same position is a testament to your resolve and your Trust in why God put you in your ministry.
Our choice is to always serve God first! The rest of how our lives change or don't is only affected by our attitude.
Friday, June 23, 2017
Friends
Ok, so I think this post is more of a diary than advice like the others, but here it goes.
I have never been Popular.
Not in elementary, not in High School, and certainly not in College. Yes, I had friends in all stages of my life but I think through my life God was preparing me for this lifestyle of a coach's wife.
Background:
I was made fun of a lot in elementary school. I had one really consistent friend whom I am still friends with today and is the Godmother to my son. Without her I would not have survived through sixth grade.
Middle and High School were kind of the same. I had no idea I was prettier than I thought, and I didn't really belong to a group. So, I clung to a few friendships. Again these got me through.
Next was College. I made a few fantastic relationships and I can say this is where I truly got to be me.
Mairrage: I love my Coach with all my heart and he is my best friend. We share everything with each other. From football plays, to student struggles, losses, wins, laughs, ad much more.
BUT.......
Yes, there is a but. I am not sure what it is but women just sometimes need other women. It seems that in ever place our little family had lived I have found a friend that fills that GIrl Power Need! As one of my college friends put it, "Sometimes you just need someone to say, Your Right!"
Every move Is different and it takes a little while for me to get my compass going, but I eventually find a friend. My husband loves me but sometimes you just need a girl to understand your point of view. I don't need a girls weekend or even a vacay from my husband or family, but every once in a while it's great to just let your hair be messy, wear pajamas, sip wine, and laugh a lot!
I write this to one fulfill my need to express myself, but I think secondly to let others experiencing the same sense of missing that girl time that , this too shall pass. Cheers! Be kind to your fellow Coach's wives, they know exactly how you feel.
Thanks Jaimie, Melissa, and Lisa❤️
I have never been Popular.
Not in elementary, not in High School, and certainly not in College. Yes, I had friends in all stages of my life but I think through my life God was preparing me for this lifestyle of a coach's wife.
Background:
I was made fun of a lot in elementary school. I had one really consistent friend whom I am still friends with today and is the Godmother to my son. Without her I would not have survived through sixth grade.
Middle and High School were kind of the same. I had no idea I was prettier than I thought, and I didn't really belong to a group. So, I clung to a few friendships. Again these got me through.
Next was College. I made a few fantastic relationships and I can say this is where I truly got to be me.
Mairrage: I love my Coach with all my heart and he is my best friend. We share everything with each other. From football plays, to student struggles, losses, wins, laughs, ad much more.
BUT.......
Yes, there is a but. I am not sure what it is but women just sometimes need other women. It seems that in ever place our little family had lived I have found a friend that fills that GIrl Power Need! As one of my college friends put it, "Sometimes you just need someone to say, Your Right!"
Every move Is different and it takes a little while for me to get my compass going, but I eventually find a friend. My husband loves me but sometimes you just need a girl to understand your point of view. I don't need a girls weekend or even a vacay from my husband or family, but every once in a while it's great to just let your hair be messy, wear pajamas, sip wine, and laugh a lot!
I write this to one fulfill my need to express myself, but I think secondly to let others experiencing the same sense of missing that girl time that , this too shall pass. Cheers! Be kind to your fellow Coach's wives, they know exactly how you feel.
Thanks Jaimie, Melissa, and Lisa❤️
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