Your happiness Matters!

It has taken me some time to realize that my happiness matters. What I mean is that when I am happy it effects a lot. When I am happy you wouldn't believe what a difference it makes. My house is cleaner, my kids are happier, and so is my husband. I realized that when I do just a little for myself, it impacts my outlook. I try to exercise regularly and this increases my positive self image. I am getting my Ed.D., and this makes me feel accomplished. I spend time with each of my kids in different ways and this makes me feel loved. Mostly, I also, and this is my favorite, make dates with my husband! For instance, my husband and I just went to Walmart without the kids! It was awesome! We browsed the aisle, and just enjoyed eachother
 It was only for about 30 min, but it was great to just be with each other. It made me happy and made me more pleasant to be around. You don't realize how your feelings affect your family.

I think this revelation came when my husband said ”I am so proud of how happy you are and how your attitude has changed!” In my head I was like ”Whoa, what have I been like?” So fast forward I was driving my son and I asked him ”Do you see a difference in mom?” Typical teenager goes ”I guess.” So I probed, ”Really, what is different?”  He replied ” You seem way, way happier!”

This shook me! I affect my family in my attitude. I guess I always knew it but didn't always consider how my attitude changed their attitudes. So if everyone is happy or unhappy with their current place in your home and life, stop and reflect on your attitude. You could be the difference.

The lows are not all

I know for me I hit emotional times. I want to be peppy and someone people can look to for encouragement. I love to hang out. I am a social person. However, being a coach’s Wife is tough. No matter how much you click with a person,they almost always have heir own friends. I have been a coach’s Wife for ten years and through that time I have met and become real friends with three ladies that we met at one school.
Reality check not every school has welcoming staff or wives. You don’t know everyone’s experiences and whether they have been burned before. But I can tell you that not every staff will be close, best buddies, hangout and chill type of coaching family.
Honestly, this business takes a lot from a person and doesn’t leave a lot left to give others.

In my coaching lifetime the first school I was at I made friends with moms of players because I was young and the only other wife was much older and didn't really socialize. I had a toddler and a newborn. We were at different stages in life. I made very close friends with my kids baby sitters parents. In fact the kids childhood babysitter is very close to our kids and is like a second daughter to us. (find you one of those!)

The second school we were at I met one coaches wife and never met any other, so I only had work friends(it was a bigger city)

The next one was my TRIBE! WE CLICKED and we were at different stages but somehow Hod new we needed eachother! We still text all the time even though our husbands went their separate ways three years ago. I love them. We even text each other on Friday nights updating each other on our husband's team.

The next school was great. We were at different stages in life, but got along. We didn't hang out, like BFFS but we had a mutual understanding of our environment and being a coaches wives. Great ladies and I wish them all the best at their new places.

  Well, 2019 and we are on a new place! After all these years my advice is to be open. Friendships will come, bonds will be made. Sometimes you have to make the first move! Be bold and say hi! You never know who you will click with! Happy Fall Friend Making!

Giving up a lot

After posting on social media #thscwa , I realized I am not alone. I am not the only one who has given up a lot. I have a dream to one day be a college professor, or a reading coach, or curriculum director, something that deals in Admin of education. I realized today with a lump in my throat I am going to have to let go of this idea. Why you may ask?
Well, plain and simple I am a coach’s Wife and it’s different for us.
The wife of a coach knows his love and passion for coaching comes first, and we are ok with that. We love our teams, boys, or girls, towns, and the ministry that is coaching. We love seeing our men shape young boys into men. However, I am a coach’s wife. This life is different for us.
My husband is so supportive, and even put aside coaching for two years for me to teach overseas, but I have to realize that my dreams are his dreams too. I want him to be a head coach, I want to yell in the stands and be proud to say, “Yep, my husband did that!” ...........I have to let go and it is hard. Knowing you are not alone and that many successful, bright, and intelligent women are simply supporting their family and husband the best that they can is comforting. It will take some time, but I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I will keep trying, because hey people win the lotto, why can’t I get that dream job I want.
OR your dream job will find you in time. For instance I have friends that never thought they would be stay at home moms or teaching when that's not what they got thier  degree in, but ended up exactly where they needed to be and what they wanted to do. Take some time to reflect and evaluate what you are doing and why God chose that for you. You might be in that certain grade teaching because little Johnny needs your care, or you need to be home to have that wonderful time with your babies, or God chose you to be with a coach and he knows this is your ministry as a couple! I just won’t lose sight of the fact that my REAL DREAM is the life I live with my husband and kids and not what I DO!

Love your life and let the Lord have it! Thank you to all the coach’s wives out there who gave up something for their wonderful lives. And a big thank you to my husband for always believing in me and supporting me!

Kind of coach’s wife

           Yesterday, our basketball team lost in the first round of the regional tournament. As the game was going on I noticed something that I have wanted to write about for a while. First there are two kinds of coach’s wives. I am a screamer! I yell and chant and cheer on my team! Last night I cheered even though the scoreboard said we were losing by 30, and that’s a lot in basketball. Through tears and heart wrenching bad calls I tried my hardest to be louder than the other fans. On one hand I hoped there was a coach’s Wife on the other team doing the same thing. The other kind of coach’s Wife is the non screamer! She will yell, clap and cheer, but is calm and collected. I wish I could be her sometimes, but that just isn’t me. However, that is ok, and that is what our husbands married us for, who we are.
           At home when the end comes I still have to be his hope. I want that to let those coach’s wives who don’t experience winning seasons, it is tough but you still have to be the cheerleader. I have been through the winning seasons too and you have to enjoy the moments.
           Even though our team lost, the memories I take away were of how invested my kids were for their dad, and how they cried for all their “new” big brothers on the team. Also how much my coach appreciated my kind of cheering for him, and that look of thanks for being here.
        Onward and upward, one day we will make State. Love you babe!

No Words for the End of a Season

I take every season as it comes. I absolutely love football and what my husband does! In fact I would be easy to pick out from the crowd because I am the loud one in the stands. If I could yell at golf tournaments I would( I know that’s not proper etiquette) but I am just saying I would.
A while back I wrote a post about the end of a season. I want to go back and revisit this after several different ending seasons under my belt. Let me say, it never gets easier. Sorry, the losses are still tough and the wins are still great. I have gone through a losing season where you just want to get at least one win, to the winning season where the end is heartbreaking. We have yet to reach that elusive state game, and winning seasons don’t come around all the time. It is in times of adversity how you rise that matters. I hope people realize that my coach puts all he has into his game plan, practice, and love for those boys. So when you do have a great season and see all the potential, but the chips just don’t fall your way it is very heartbreaking. Most people will get over the loss in a day, but my coach will never forget.  Please understand if he just wants some time to process. I love my coach and for him he has to process the loss and season on his own. All the wife can do is be there to listen and give positive feedback. So just be there. Fans criticism isn’t needed trust me he is already beating himself up about it. Just realize winning and losing seasons come and go. Back your team and your coach this is never the end, just another chapter.

When you sleep

Want to know what he does when you sleep?

Week nights he is up wondering if he covered everything he could in practice. He is thinking of plays and defensive or offensive schemes. He is wondering about those adjustments he needs to make. All week he is thinking: How can I do my best?
On Thursday night, he is all nerves. Will we do what we can? Have they changed anything?
On Friday he is the last one to sleep. There is film to trade, and equipment to put up, and laundry to start. The whole town will be asleep before he is. Then he is the first one up. There is no sleeping in during the season. He will work on Saturday, maybe nap when everyone is awake, because he didn’t sleep all week. He will work again Sunday and start all over.

So what does he do when you sleep?

He worries about those kids who are struggling to pass, not to have them play, but so they keep trying in school. He worries about those injured kids and if they will shut down or become leaders. He wonders if he is being the best example he can. He wonders if your sons are understanding how to become a team and count on each other. He is wondering if what he does makes a difference to just one kid. It doesn’t matter, to be recognized, that’s not why he does it. He does it for the Glory if God and the building up of young men.

What does he do when you sleep?

He wonders if he missed anything at school for his kids. He wonders when he will get to hug them goodnight. He wonders if they are doing well in school and if they are liked. He wonders when he will play games with his son and dolls with his little girl. He wonders if all this time away still means he is a good dad. (You are) he wonders if is Wife will be awake when he gets home on Fridays (I will) he wonders when our next date night will be. He wonders when we can finally just sit and be together. He wonders how his wife can do all she does without him. He wonders if he is a good husband. (You are)

This is what my coach does. He knows every answer to these statements, but that doesn’t mean he stops thinking them. This doesn’t mean he is a bad coach, teacher, father, or husband, it means the exact opposite. He is a great coach, teacher, Dad, and husband.

A Letter to My Coach

Dear Coach,

I love you! I want you to know that I am so proud of you! I want you to know that I know what I was getting into when I married you. You always have my back and I always have yours. I think you are the best husband and father. Everyday you tell me you love me and it swells my heart. You call me to say good night when you are away for whatever reason. You want to say good night to your kids even though you only gave them one hug all day, just so they know you love them. I know your heart aches to be away but just know we are ok. In fact we couldn't be more proud! We miss you but know you have a higher purpose to teach and be there for those young men you coach. We know you love us, but we also know you love them. We are happy that this calling is where God has lead you and we want to be there right with you. I feel your pain, sorrow, disappointment, joy, and anticipation. We love the hype before you take the field and the Secret signal we have to show each other love. We celebrate with you and beam with pride at your accomplishments. We will always be there for you, even when the storm is bad on the outside, know that inside our home is rock solid and unwavering. We have your back and no one, not even the Devil himself could break us apart, because the Lord our God brought us together. So when you need solace from the storm or just your cup to be refilled, we are that ever constant flow of peace and love! Lee Valdez.....God gave you gifts and he is using you to greater his kingdom on earth. No we are not perfect, and we will stumble and fall. You remember that this is your vocation and you answered when the Lord called. I just want you to know, I answered that call and am ever thankful for his presence in our marriage and in our family! Have a great season!

Love,

Your Wife

They are more than Athletes

Coaching revolves around teams and athletes. My husband coaches more than just athletes.
He coaches brothers and sisters. My kids love the students. They gain big brothers and sisters on any team my husband coaches. I know you respect my coach by the way you treat my kids. Remember my kids look up to you because you spend so much time with their father.  You are more than Athletes!

You are special to him. My coach loves you like his own and will tell you every time he sees you. He means it when he says, "I love you son!" He wants to push you to be the best you can be. He want to teach you teamwork, perseverance, dedication, and what it means to be a brother to your teammates. He wants you to learn that this is not a game about 1, but a game you work together to achieve greatness. He wants to pick you up when you fall down and not make any excuses because he believes in you. You are more than just Athletes!

Because you are special to him, you are special to me. I love you and care for you too because he does. I yell my loudest because I want to win just as much as you do. I care for your wins and your losses. So I am going to put one extra pressure on you you might not have thought of.

Dear Athletes,

Put all your effort into your team and never stop working. When you feel like you want to give up, don't, turn it up and give even more. Don't lose hope, quit, or give up cause we won't. If you aren't getting the playing time you want, then work for it, it will come. And if it doesn't encourage your teammates that are on the field because you are still important to your team. Positivity can do miracles, and negativity can eat away at you. Don't bring that negativity into your locker room or on that field. Look at your fellow brothers on that field and cherish these moments you will not get them back. Treat your coaches with love and respect because they care. I am lending you my husband and my children their father, take care of him. Make our sacrifices worth it by giving all you have and then some! You are More than just Athletes!

Love,

YOUR Coach's Wife.

What I wish some people knew....

Most people work from 8a.m.-5p.m. or they work half days, or nights or mornings. Whatever the case, everyone has different work hours. When you have your vacation or work free days you don't want to do work, plain and simple. Well, this is not the case for Coaches. Unless you are in the business of coaching (this excludes just teaching or volunteering for little league seasons) you don't know what it is like.  Granted I am thankful that he is normally safe at his job except for the traveling which always has me nervous, but thank God he isn't being shot at like other jobs. God Bless those wives!!! But I cannot claim to understand what those wives go through either. I just want to explain what I go through.

Ok, so we normally get the, "Wow, you get three months off !" This line just rubs me the wrong way but besides that people don't know what it is like to be a coaching family. Here is a little run down of a normal school day schedule. Up by 6:30a.m. ( no seeing his own kids off to school), usually some type of athletics, teaching all day, then athletics after school with maybe a meeting in after that till 7:00p.m.
So that's just the week, but the weekend he works too. Thursday and Friday nights are till well after midnight, and then he gets up Saturday to work all day, and then goes to work for about half the day on Sunday (depending on the school). Why am I saying his schedule? Well, so maybe someone reading this understands.
1. He is not being rude. He is just tired.
2. No, he doesn't want to come to your cookout or BBQ. He wants to spend time with us.
3. No, he doesn't want to talk about football or what happened on Friday night. He knows! He was there!!!
4. Please don't ask me where he is, because 99% of the time he is working. Sorry, it's just me and the kids coming to your kids birthday party.
5. Honestly, we are not trying to be rude, standoffish, or even antisocial. We just want to soak up the family time when we can.

So when someone says, "Wow, you get three months off!" It rubs me the wrong way, because first of all its barely 2 months with all the camps, and workshops, and planning for next season, and two-a-days, and clinics. The second thing is that the coaches open the gyms and weight rooms all summer long, taking turns so they can have some vacation time. So when my husband doesn't open the gym or weight room on his night off it is to be with his family. If he can he will, but time is precious for us so I wish people knew that when he has to go to work we don't get that time back.

When He Doesn't Get the Job

What do you do when he doesn't get the job he has worked so hard for? What if you watch another person come in to the position he so dearly wanted?

These questions are hard to answer. I have been on both sides as a wife. I have seen my husband come to a new school taking over a role someone else's husband use to hold. Now, a position he would have liked but was not moved into but awarded to someone else NEW. By new I mean, new to the town and district. This happens often.

The first time I witnessed what teachers call 'reassignment' Let's just say My husband and I did not take well to the news of replacement well. Now this was in the UAE and we handled the news poorly, even though it was a volunteer position. We took that as a lesson and when moving back to the USA decided if something like this happened again we would face the challenge differently.

I witnessed a beautiful Coaching couple done wrong by 'reassignment' rise to the cringing news with the utmost poise. I was astonished at how cordial, smiley, and ever unchanging they were in their attitudes at work and in the public eye. They continued to go to games, talk to towns people, and interact as they always had, warmly with student athletes. I admired their resolve.

So when it was our turn again, I was ready to face the changes. I believe in God and his purpose for myself and my husband in the Coaching world. My husband has the same position he had but was not given the opportunity to advance when the opportunity presented itself. No one can know why some get the job over others. You just can't. All you can do is change your reaction. You can grow up and stand together like the poised couple and be the same people you always were, or you react poorly and let the negativity eat into your lives.

It isn't always easy, but I remind myself that New people coming in are only seeking opportunity, not stealing it. Old people being 'reassigned' or staying in the same position is a testament to your resolve  and your Trust in why God put you in your ministry.

Our choice is to always serve God first! The rest of how our lives change or don't is only affected by our attitude.

Friends

Ok, so I think this post is more of a diary than advice like the others, but here it goes.

I have never been Popular.
Not in elementary, not in High School, and certainly not in College. Yes, I had friends in all stages of my life but I think through my life God was preparing me for this lifestyle of a coach's wife.
Background:
I was made fun of a lot in elementary school. I had one really consistent friend whom I am still friends with today and is the Godmother to my son. Without her I would not have survived through sixth grade.
Middle and High School were kind of the same. I had no idea I was prettier than I thought, and I didn't really belong to a group. So, I clung to a few friendships. Again these got me through.
Next was College. I made a few fantastic relationships and I can say this is where I truly got to be me.
Mairrage: I love my Coach with all my heart and he is my best friend. We share everything with each other. From football plays, to student struggles, losses, wins, laughs, ad much more.

BUT.......
Yes, there is a but. I am not sure what it is but women just sometimes need other women. It seems that in ever place our little family had lived I have found a friend that fills that GIrl Power Need! As one of my college friends put it, "Sometimes you just need someone to say, Your Right!"

Every move Is different and it takes a little while for me to get my compass going, but I eventually find a friend. My husband loves me but sometimes you just need a girl to understand your point of view. I don't need a girls weekend or even a vacay from my husband or family, but every once in a while it's great to just let your hair be messy, wear pajamas, sip wine, and laugh a lot!

I write this to one fulfill my need to express myself, but I think secondly to let others experiencing the same sense of  missing that girl time that , this too shall pass. Cheers! Be kind to your fellow Coach's wives, they know exactly how you feel.

Thanks Jaimie, Melissa, and Lisa❤️

I am not perfect!

I am not perfect. I have many flaws. One is not always having everything together. I do my best but sometimes I need help. Sometimes I bottle it all up, while other times it spills over. I have to keep praying and telling myself that this Role of a Coach's Wife is a full time job. I do my best and sometimes my best is not always good enough. I know he works and is gone. I have to say there are some professions out there that like coaching take your husbands away for long periods of time. I may not understand what it is like to be those wives but I do understand what it is to be a Coach's wife. I love that we don't just have two children we have 90+children. We love each kid as if they were our own. I am proud of my husband and how even after a long day he makes time to snuggle with our daughter and play with our son every chance he gets! He always asks how they are doing in school. I think one of my favorite parts is that he texts me before every game and says "Taking the field, Love you." I always reply I love you", even if I know he won't see it till after the game.  He always makes me feel special by saying how beautiful I am or how pretty I look. It is hard to not think of my own frustrations throughout the day and all the things I have to do. I still try and do my best and what makes our marraige work is we listen to each others frustrations. I wouldn't want to accomplish this journey with anyone else.  I just want to say thank you darling to being the best partner I could have hoped for! ❤️you and 🏈Lee Valdez

Being behind your Coach

I have seen it more and more as my Coaching wife role goes on. You have to stand behind your coach. One of the hardest parts is hearing the negativity someone has for  coaches. We have gotten really good at separating our family life from team life. That does not mean that my coach doesn't care about team life. It means that he can turn off anything from work that is bothering him and be my Husband and my kids Dad! I am truly blessed to have a special coach. Now, that does not mean it always turns off. This is where a coach's wife comes into context, you might have to be that sounding board.
Sometimes your coach needs to vent and it is your job to be that sounding board. For me the hard part is separating my emotions. I want to give my advise.  I have realized is to just listen. I realized it when I heard negativity and I told him,  "Don't say anything, just listen."

He has way more experience dealing with different situations that it is not my job to give advice. I need to be a wife and stand behind my coach. This means to always support him at the games, and at home. I enjoy  the ride and have confidence in the fact that he does this profession because he cares.

The Changing of Seasons

Seasons come and seasons go. It seems that in Texas the weather can change from day to day. It can be 80F one day and 24F the next day. Sometimes it feels like that when you have a husband for a coach. Once football season ends and you think you get your weekends with your love one back, in comes basketball season. Now, basketball season is not as bad as football because normally they don't have to work on Saturday and Sunday. This might happen if a tournament is involved for a weekend. A change like the wind that does come is the schedule of events. For me the kids start to play games as well, and Varsity or JV games happen for Coach on Tuesday and Friday. If the schedule for your coach involves a lot of away games, expect to have no family dinner on those days.
So this was my schedule for this first spring sport:
Monday: Basketball practice for Kids
Tuesday: Kids alternate activities( dance, tumbling, lessons of music)
Wednesday: Church classes
Thursday: Basketball practice for Kids
Friday: Dad's basketball games
Saturday: Kids basketball games
Sunday: Church and activities related to this

So as you can see we are always busy. Now it is important to make sure you make time for each other, and your kids with their father. We try and do this through family time on Saturday afternoon, and Sunday afternoon. That is restricted to family time! It is very important to keep those date nights too!

Now the season is changing again. We are moving into track season. TRACK! Unless your coach loves track this can be a long season. This means Saturdays are back off the table. Track meets happen on Saturday. If you ever want to brave the long days you can spend some time with your honey on those track meet days, and let the kids run around the infield, but it is usually long and boring. If you get VolunTOLD to do lane timings (go for lane eight!) most of the time this lane doesn't have a runner in it. Well, depends on the school size. Smaller schools probably not, but larger schools well oh well, have fun pushing a button for many hours!
Enjoy the change of season, Especially those baseball moms and coach's wives too!
No matter how you slice it, Track, Baseball, or Golf it will still be time sacrificed for  the love of Coaching and being a Coach's Wife.

Dealing with Sickness

Blah, Uggg, Cough, Sneeze, Wheeze, Gasp! All the sounds of sickness. Being a coach's wife is not easy. It is even more difficult when sickness hits you or your family. Usually once you have the internal drive to make every game or go to work sick, you still are his number one fan. If you are a Mom, you DON'T GET SICK! I am not being sarcastic. When your the mom you can't get sick. You still have practices, classes, after school activities, church, and work. Kids still need to be fed, laundry done, baths given, homework done, and dinner cooked. It is not an easy job to be a mom, but it is the best job. 

In other words what happens when one of your mini fans goes down. I have had to battle this for about the whole month of October. My daughter and son are adjusting to a new climate and area. The allergies, climate, and school spread sickness have just come at them one week after the other. When these situations arise, your Coach will understand. Your family comes first and making them well will pay off. It gives both of you peace of mind.

You can still show that you care. Asking about practice, and how things are going are just a few little ways to show him you care. I also pay close attention to the Friday night local news. I want to always make sure that I am still involved. I also try and make treats or sweets for the Coaching staff. Kind of sending a piece of my support to the team even though I won't physically be there to cheer them on. Good Luck flu Season is upon us and so is District and Playoffs! Bundle Up, stay warm, and safe for fall football season just can't be beat!

Good Luck in District all you HS football Coach's Wives!

New Friendships

New friendships can come easy to some people. For me it is a process. I may seem open and confident on the outside, but inside I am just dying. I am awkward and it takes me a little bit to read the personality and humor of another person.

I remember starting a season of rugby in the UAE and I had a friend now that I had a "friend crush" on. That's when you click with a person and want them to be your friend but they already have a group of friends and you don't really know how to integrate yourself into the group. I really just kind of wait it out and eventually my winning personality takes over! Ha!Ha! (right Amy Hestness) Well, the best advice I can give new coach's wives or even coach's wives in a new town is make friends with the other coach's wives first, cause they know what you are going through. They know the hours your husbands put in and they know what it is like to be the household while they are working.  Then as you integrate into a community like personalities will surface and you will form new friendships. Also if you are the veteran coach's wife, have an open door policy for those new ones. It is a calling to be a coach's wife, and it is important that we support each other.

I do have advice to the town folk! Please be welcoming to the new people in town. It is hard being the new kid on the block. Also please wait till you are close with someone to divulge personal secrets.

WELCOME to the 2014 Football Season!

Two-A-Days

Two-a-days has started! YAY! It's football season! I am one of those Coach's wives that just loves this time of year! I love all the getting ready with gear and getting decked out in school colors! What do you do when it starts? 

Here is a go to list of ideas:

• Get your gear on! That means go buy a shirt or a couple in your school colors! If you live and work in the same town as your husband  coach's then just get one or two the school should be selling team support shirts and your gonna want one! 

• Get your kids gear on! I love making sure my daughter has a hair bow in the teams colors and my son has a shirt that goes the same way! We have to be decked out for our Coach! We are his number one fans!

• Get his gear on! Not all coach's are the same, but my coach loves to support his team in practice and home! He gets sunglasses that carry lenses the same color as the team color, he has the shorts, shirts, and shoes to go with it! He will get some stuff just for the coaching staff, but its always nice to start two-a-days with a little school spirit!

• Get your house in order! You never know who might show up to visit, coach from same staff, family to see a game, friends visiting to see a game, or players who just need advice from your coach.

• Get the goods! That means have snacks on hand to feed the occasional guest, coach, or team member!

• Get loud! Don't forget to get your noise maker! A cow bell can be bought at most feed supply stores, and don't forget to decorate it in the school colors!

Now once two-a-days starts you can do this stuff while he is working, and me being a teacher I am getting ready for school. If you are not an educator, a coach always needs help with his classroom. Coach's are good with kids but not so good with decorating! Help him out and set up his room with at least a decent bulletin board and a place to hold his pens! This is an exciting time because anticipation is building for the season and anything is possible. At home be encouraging and even though the separation is starting with the long work hours the reward is so fulfilling with the smile on your coach's face when he comes home talking about his team!

GOOD LUCK to all you new Coach's Wives and all the Teams out there!(can you tell we are the color purple;)

For some gear!

t-shirts,hoodies, and more                    
i phone cases, tshirts, and more

I have never used this last site, but may be nice.
custom rhinestone shirts

Two for One!

I'm Back! Been a while, but there really hasn't been much football action. Ok, so today is the two for one special! This means for those of you coaching couples that are teachers, this post is for you! Teachers that are the spouse of a coach have a unique opportunity. We get to either open the door for our spouse, or we get to tag along. I do have a few more years experience than my husband and more diverse certifications, but he does stand on his own. I have found that in TEXAS especially, if the coach gets a job, the wife usually in most cases gets one too. This was the case with us. We are moving from another country back to Texas life! Let me interject I am super excited, ok, back on track.
          My husband in a matter of two weeks, just again from people he knew, had four job offers! That is right FOUR! Right after I had the same four offers. Now this is the first time we have dealt with choosing a place. We have two children who are elementary age and at this stage in both our careers we need to stay put for a long time. So we were really praying and discerning hard on where to live. It was between a Hill Country, and if your from Texas you know this is a beautiful place to live, and West Texas, where the people are super nice. Well, we went with what suited our jobs, future plans, and our kids lives the best. We went with West Texas. Now most people from Texas would go "WHAT!" ARE YOU KIDDING!" No, we are not, but we are sound and happy with our decision. We are going into jobs we both are happy with, a home we are happy with, and we know a place our kids will be happy. Small town life is not for everyone, but I just love the community and fever football brings to a small town. My kids can run around at football games, and I don't have to worry about them, as much as I would in a big city. I will know everyone, from players, to coach's, to coach's wives, to administration in the school, and parents. This could be daunting to someone new to the coaching world, but it is a necessary part of the job. I don't mind, but it does get tough. Just remember even though the community is getting two for one special for the town, you are making memories, and a future for your family.

Belief

Merry Christmas!

I want to focus this post on belief! Belief for a family is very important. A belief system is essential to sports. For most fans it is wearing a certain outfit, or eating a certain thing. These little traditions can mean the world to a coach or fan. When my husband was coaching in a small Texas town when game day would come, he would wear the same outfit for each game. He had like five pair of khaki pants, but when the team was winning he would wear the same ones. Same difference when they would lose, he would change and say well that outfit didn't work. Besides silly little sports traditions a family needs to have their own traditions.

Traditions are so critical to a coaching family. First your coach will work many hours, and the holidays is usually your only break in the year. It means the end of football season, and the beginning of another sport like baseball, basketball, or golf. So when you know that this seasonal time is so precious, make a family tradition. I have taken some traditions that my family use to do and melded them to my family, along with adding some new ones. We always make Christmas cookies together! We always go to church Christmas Eve, and we always eat meatball sandwich's on Christmas eve (its an Italian thing). What ever it may be make a tradition or traditions for your family. These are the memories that will last forever. These are the memories that you want your children to remember and use in their own families, so that they know they are the most important reason we do what we do. That they know first comes God, then Family, then Sports ;)! Merry Christmas!

The All Seeing EYE

Watch out its Halloween season! Everyone is watching for those scary things. This means as a coach it is either district play back in the states or closing out the season. For any reason all season long your coach, your family, and you the wife are watched. People in your football community watch what you wear, what you eat, who you talk too especially, and how you act toward them and others. Most new coach's wives think, oh, I can just go to the game and just cheer go home and that's it. Wrong! The Role of a Coach's wife is to be there for your husband. Part of that is presenting yourself well. Take care of yourself, for you and for your family. Say hi to everyone. This means every parent family member of a player or coach. They may not have a voice in the future of your husbands position single handed, but they do influence a community. A community proclaiming victory is much louder than a single human. When we lived in Texas I tried to make sure everyone knew who I was. One I wanted any "single women" know my presence was there and to stay away from my man(that's the selfish reason), and two so everyone knew I supported my husband and the team. I believe that if you present who you are to people and you have no secrets, then they have no ammunition to use against you if they feel so inclined. I have talked about relationships, and this is where this comes into play. When you are true, and honest people know it, and they see it in the way you publicly treat others. I am a representation of my husband and I want people to like him, and if they see that I am by cordially saying hi to everyone involved, they know that they are important. Everyone likes to be acknowledged if they know you, no one likes to be ignored. So if I know a player or family member of a player is around, make it a point to say hi to them. My children have not learned this yet, but I am happy that I am teaching them to always remember who you are and who you represent.
          If a majority of people know you and your family as good people, when those few people come attacking know you have represented your self well. Sometimes the attackers win, and sometimes they don't. But represent yourself well and when the trials come you can be confident in yourself that you did nothing wrong. Look out cause you are always watched, you might not get paid like a celebrity or headlines or magazines. You will be news to people in your community. Best of luck and

"REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU REPRESENT!"

Thanks Dad for teaching me this!